What does body positivity mean in perimenopause & menopause? 10 tips to love your changing body.
Body positivity is a buzzword rooted in anti-diet culture movements dating back to the 1970s.
In the era of Instagram and Facebook, the body positivity movement has gained serious momentum and continues to grow. While it can mean different things to different people, the phrase is a way to encourage you to love yourself no matter your physical appearance.
For us ladies approaching and going through menopause, being body positive can seem complicated, and being inundated with body-positive messages can be exasperating.
Seeing a 30-year-old childless influencer with excellent genes and a flexible work schedule talk about “loving your body” can make you want to throw your phone across the room (true story).
So what does body positivity mean in perimenopause and menopause?
For starters, it means leaving the toxic positivity at the door.
Often body positivity and toxic positivity begin to overlap. As a result, you may end up minimizing your feelings and silencing your desires.
Instead, let’s acknowledge that feeling uncomfortable in your body is OK. If you’re like many women, you may have never sincerely loved yourself and been proud of your body.
This year as I downsized my home and my life I went through boxes and boxes of old photos. I vividly remember always criticizing some aspect of my body, my crazy hair or my acne prone skin, but looking back now I realize we never really appreciate the fabulous parts of us and choose to focus on the flaws.
Even with this knowledge I still fall into the trap that if I could just lose those last few pounds, I would be happier. I remind myself daily that my body deserves love and a big thank you for all it has done for me.
If you have never truly loved your body, or if you’ve taken a long hiatus, now is the time to start!
Below are 10 tips to love your changing body.
#1 Gently begin where you're at
As you may already know, the menopausal years are a time of transformation, sort of like a second puberty!
You are entering a new phase of life. For some, it feels beautiful…for others, it feels out of control!
Change is rarely easy, and the shifts in your hormone levels can make you feel that your body is working against you. Because of this, body positivity in perimenopause and menopause requires being kind and gentle with yourself.
Know that thinking in a new way or starting something new can take time. Establishing an exercise routine or cutting back on sweets probably won’t happen overnight. A 2021 study found that forming a new habit takes an average of 59 days (1)!
Gently begin where you’re at, be kind to yourself, and, more than anything, be consistent.
#2 Get out of your head & give your belly a break
What does body positivity mean in our 40s and 50s? It’s largely a mental game. What helps you get out of your head, stop stressing, and stop comparing yourself to others?
Getting to the place where you feel self-love and acceptance is a journey. And remember, you are focusing on being kind and gentle with yourself.
This isn’t to say that you should say goodbye to your health goals. There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose some belly fat and fit back into your favorite jeans.
But you will need to reframe what “healthy” means to you and understand that the shifts in hormone levels during menopausal years mean that your body may store fat differently than before.
The shifts in estrogen during the perimenopausal and menopausal years can result in your body storing fat in your stomach rather than your thighs and butt. As frustrating as this can be, know that it is normal and can be reduced through consistent physical activity, good sleep, and a balanced diet.
#3 Rethink breathing
As you read this, I want you to focus on your breathing. Are you taking quick, fast breaths or slow and steady ones?
Breathing that is shallow and quick prevents you from fully accessing the part of your nervous system that is essential for relaxation.
This is because breathing does more than deliver oxygen to your body. It also facilitates healing and helps you get out of stress mode.
Deep breathing can even help reduce cortisol (2), the hormone that increases stress and tells your body to store fat in your midsection.
If deep breathing is new to you, this is a great article that will walk you through exactly what to do.
#4 Prioritize pleasure
This one is essential if you have spent most of your life putting your needs on the back burner—years of balancing home life and work, being the caretaker, the cook, and the cleaner.
Filling so many roles, you probably haven’t had a moment to think about what you want.
Pleasure can look different for each person. It could mean setting aside time to connect with your husband or booking a cozy bed & breakfast weekend.
Or it could look like doing something just for you. Take the dance class you’ve always been interested in, or sign up for a French cooking class.
Engaging in activities you enjoy is crucial during perimenopause and menopause because they help prevent menopausal depression (3).
Think about what brings you joy and do it. This is the time to prioritize things that please you.
#5 And sleep!
Insomnia is a common complaint that begins in perimenopause and can exacerbate other symptoms such as hot flashes and moodiness.
Getting a good night’s rest can seem impossible when you have trouble sleeping. An excellent place to start is to ensure you are prioritizing your sleep by practicing good sleep hygiene.
A few tips to improve sleep quality include:
Avoid alcohol before bedtime.
Make sure your bedroom is cool and dark.
Avoid using electronics the hour before bedtime (blue light emitted by these devices disrupts your production of melatonin, the hormone that helps you sleep).
And if you need extra support, low dose melatonin supplementation before bed is an effective sleep aid for menopausal women and may also help strengthen your bones and facilitate weight loss (4).
It’s always smart to speak with a trusted healthcare provider before beginning any new supplement regime, especially if you take prescription medication.
#6 Learn to say no
How often have you said “yes” when you honestly thought, “I do not have the emotional capacity or time for this?”
Body positivity in menopause means practicing self-care.
Practicing self-care means setting boundaries.
Learning to set boundaries can take practice if you are a people pleaser. You may initially feel like you are being selfish.
We live in a society that values non-stop work—saying yes to every engagement and volunteering yourself even when your schedule is overflowing.
Learning to say no simply means listening to your body. Do you genuinely have the mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical space for this? If the answer is no to any of these, consider gently saying so. Ask yourself does this have to get done and do I have to do it?
#7 Move in ways that feel good
Do you hate waking up extra early for the group spin class with your girlfriends but keep doing it for the sake of exercise?
Keep asking yourself our initial question: What does body positivity mean in perimenopause and menopause?
I propose it means moving in ways that make you feel good, and if the 6 AM gym class is not your style, then ditch it.
Yes, exercise during the menopausal years has many benefits, and I highly recommend it, but you have to find the right type for you.
It could be walking, dancing, Pilates, strength training, or even a Zumba class. Take the time to listen to your body, rest when needed, and move in ways that bring you joy.
#8 Eat foods you love
Is bland chicken breast with steamed broccoli your go-to healthy meal? Do you choose the salad because it’s the low-calorie option?
If so, you will be happy to know you can eat foods you love while reaching your health goals. And it is entirely ok to enjoy food because it is delicious, regardless of how many nutrients it contains.
The days of food deprivation are over!
Our generation has grown up with trendy diets like low-fat, Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, and SlimFast. And while these types of diets can be helpful for some, they can also destroy our relationship with food, creating anxiety around “bad” and “good” foods.
Of course, what we eat matters. Eating a diet rich in quality protein, healthy fats, and colorful carbohydrates will help you get the necessary nutrients to thrive. However, make sure you love what you are eating.
#9 Prioritize protein
Because of our preoccupation with healthy eating, many women tend to undereat, missing out on essential nutrients needed for healthy aging.
Protein is the macronutrient that is vital for graceful aging. Protein is essential for glowing skin, while protein-rich foods provide nutrients that keep gray hairs at bay (5)!
Protein is also needed to prevent skeletal muscle loss as we age. Most women in midlife need about 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight each day.
What does this look like in real life? Make your goal 30-40 grams of protein four times a day or three primary meals with 40 grams of protein and two snacks that contain about 20 grams of protein.
To put this in perspective, five ounces of salmon contain 40 grams of protein, one cup of cottage cheese contains 20 grams, and one egg contains 6 grams of protein.
Meeting these requirements can be a challenge and requires intention and planning. And know that you might not hit your protein goals daily, and that is ok.
Remember, what does body positivity mean? It means balance, not perfection.
#10 Find the parts you love
When thinking about what body positivity means to you, one of the most important things to reflect on is what you love about your body.
You are a powerful, wise, beautiful woman. Use your power to reframe your standards of beauty. And this can be so much more than physical qualities.
Think about your life. All of the love you have given, the amazing feats you have accomplished, the wonderful relationships you have formed.
For instance, I am learning to love my softer stomach because it carried and nurtured each of my children. I love my legs for taking me on many adventures with family and friends—hiking with my family, countless walks through our neighborhood with my dogs, and climbing an uncountable number of stairs in my recent move!
Think of everything your body has given you, find the parts you love, and celebrate them.
If you need help with this reframe, I’m here to support you. Use this link to schedule your free 20-minute consultation.
Picture of me in Acadia National Park after hiking The Beehive.
